Books on bOObs: A Guide to Your Girls

Want to get “the girls” into their best shape this summer? One easy way is to dress them for success. You may know your bra size, but given the variety of styles and fabrics, some makes and models support your unique “girls” better than others. Here are six quick dressing room tips to determine which bra fits you best:

1. Hook up. Fasten your bra on the loosest (first) hook. As the bra wears and the fabric loosens, you’ll still be able to adjust by using the second or third set of hooks.

2. Fill up. Lean over and make sure you’ve got all your tissue in the cups. Your breasts should fill up the cup, not spill out the top or the sides. Note: when trying on underwire bras, make sure the wire is sitting on your ribcage (bone), rather than your breast tissue. If the cups look wrinkled, try a smaller band size, not a smaller cup size, first. Do the same when not filling up the more padded bra styles.

3. Strap Up. Adjust the straps so they are laying flat against your shoulders but are not indenting your skin. Remember that everyone has two different sized breasts, so you may need to adjust straps at differing levels. Note: if after this step your bra rides up in back, try a smaller size band or loosen the straps.

4. Stand up. Turn sideways and look at yourself in the mirror. The back band of the bra should be at the same level as the front band of the bra. And the very center front of the bra should rest flat against your breast bone. Where should your breasts be? Level with your triceps. Hint: If you rest the palm of your hand on your stomach, your breasts should be situated halfway between your shoulder and your elbow.

5. Suit Up. Once you’ve found the right fit, redress for success! That’s right, make sure you like the way the bra looks underneath your clothes. If you’re not happy, you still have the chance to find something that looks better! 

6. Match Up. Found a bra you love? Love the way it makes you look? Buy three or four pairs of panties to complement its fabric or style. Don’t go to all the trouble of making your girls looks good without remembering to properly accessorize!

All boobs are unique in size, shape, and volume. Yet women must dress their breasts in less than a custom fit. Standard bra cups, under wires, and sizing can’t take into account the various ways our mammaries morph. Most women are forced to buy off-the-rack for their original “racks.” Pattern maker and clothing designer Don McCunn has a solution for crafty gals seeking the perfect breast supporter. McCunn has written an eBook and teaches an on-line class in how to make custom-fit bras. Given the price of most manufactured bras (anywhere from $25 to $150), his approach is a real bargain. The class is $50; eBook is $25, materials run $12, and McCunn’s Yahoo support group is free. Happy and comfortable boobs: priceless. (Don’t delay, though, as his bra making class is offered only once a year, and the next one begins May 11th.)

The bOOb Lady is proud to take part in Wedding Flair, Saturday, April 18th, from 11:00 am-7:00 pm. This bridal extravaganza is sponsored by Common Folk Company and PaperSource and features lifestyle expert Kelley Moore. All day (from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm), guests can enjoy luxurious table tops and  the opportunity to participate in hands-on projects that will take any wedding from ordinary to extraordinary. You’ll learn about the newest styles, and can shop unique vendors to meet all your happily-ever-after needs. A portion of the day’s proceeds benefit The Breast Cancer Research Foundation. I’ll be on hand to answer any questions you may have, and provide tips on how to put your best breast forward on your special day. Common Folk is located at 15600 N.E. 8th St., Bellevue, WA. Stroll and shop from 11:00 am to 5:00 pm, or attend an evening cocktail party from 5:00-7:00 pm to get the scoop on the latest wedding trends! 

Three recent stories paint an interesting picture of how women are viewed in our world today. The first was the post of a video, recording the public flogging of a 17-year old Pakistani girl by the Taliban. Her crime of “immoral behavior” stemmed from either a refusal to participate in an arranged marriage, or having been seen publicly with an unrelated male. The second reported on the doctoring of the inaugural Israeli cabinet photo to remove the image of its two female members. Publications either blacked them out or digitally erased them to appease ultra-orthodox Jewish readers. The third covered Michelle Obama’s meeting with her French counterpart, Carla Bruni-Sarkozy. While these two women are extremely accomplished in their own right, the story focused on the fashion statement each made by their choice of designer clothing. Oh yeah, baby, we’ve come a very long way indeed.

On March 9, 2009, the most adored and vilified plastic doll in the world turned the big 5-0. Ever the style conscious fashion queen, Barbie’s legacy now spans five decades. Many have criticized the molded model as the reason why some women compare and objectify their physical selves, especially their own breasts (unlike Barbie, we sport nipples). Ironically, while Barbie’s popularity among young girls has not waned, she’s also known as the most mutilated of playthings. If you fondly recall cutting off your Barbie’s hair or defiling her in some way, you may appreciate artist Margaux Lange’s jewelry creations. Lange skillfully dissects these dolls with an X-Acto knife and repurposes them in sterling silver rings, bracelets, and earrings. The above necklace is one of her original creations and is proudly worn by the Boob Lady. How appropriate that Barbie’s boobs are wrapped in heart-shaped symbols of love. May all women embrace their bosoms in the same fashion!

Working the room at the fabulous Zovo Lingerie event, the Boob Lady encountered a party-goer with a pesky problem: how to keep  her “nipples of steel” from protruding profusely through her undergarments.  The gal in question was fed up with keeping  ”the girls”  confined to thick, molded cup bras in order to keep her nips neutralized. (While there is nothing more beautiful and alluring than the female nipple, some women are uncomfortable with theirs at 24/7 attention.) The Boob Lady’s solution? The amazingly practical  Nippies Natural. Made of ultra-thin silicone, they come in two colors (beige and brown) and two styles (adhesive for strapless gowns, and non-adhesive for extra coverage under thin bras or clothing). Now armed with proper girl gear, the satisfied customer left Zovo with two new beautiful, soft and sexy bras — and a personalized copy of my book!  Boob mission accomplished.

Join me at Zovo Lingerie this Thursday, March 12th, 6:oo-9:oo pm, for bOOb Talk with the bOOb Lady. Enjoy chocolates and delicious discounts on fabulous Kai beauty products. Get a free fitting from the best chest experts in town. Here’s your chance to talk all things breastacular, or purchase a personalized copy of my bOObs. Guys and gals are welcome to browse, shop or chat up “the girls!”

For teens and in-betweens, breast development can be both a blessing and a curse. It’s a new body part whose obvious arrival is either anxiously anticipated or totally unexpected. There can be plenty of drama surrounding “the girls:” from buying a first bra to how others react to a new, more womanly body. In BooBs: a Guide to Growing Girls, the Boob Fairy bares all about our morphing mammaries. Filled with true stories from other growing girls, it provides expert advice on what to expect when you are expecting breasts. Chapters uncover everything from bra wear and care, common fears and concerns, to best breast health, and how to deal with unwanted breast attention. Whatever their eventual size or shape, all girls will discover the power of life and love they hold in their budding bosoms.

For more information or to pre-order the book, please visit Booksonboobs.com.

Many larger breasted women find it difficult to wear tailored tops, since most are manufactured for the proportionately smaller boob owner. Their choices are limited: buy a bigger size which fits poorly everywhere else, or put up with overstretched fabric straining to cover a well-endowed chest. Enter Carissa Brown, founder of Bratique Helene, a company with several answers to this frustrating fashion dilemma. Bratique’s shirt sizing system is based on a bust to waist ratio (28-40 ribcage with a 34DD+ cup). Their innovative hook and eye closure system eliminates any chance of unsightly gaps. Recently reviewed by You Look Fab, styles can go from the boardroom to flattering a fav pair of jeans. Thank you, Bratique Helene, for providing a smart solution to a top heavy problem!

Want to instantly improve your figure? Exercise and diet are important, but wearing the right bra will also change your appearance, and make your girls appear more perky and fit. If you haven’t had your boobs fitted in the past year, make it a New Year priority. Even when properly cared for (read: hand wash in delicate soap and hang dry), bras lose their elasticity and shape over time. Our much loved and well-worn favorite bras can wear out in less than a year! If your foundations look a bit tired, it may be time to give your lingerie drawer a lift. Here are some tips to boost your breast assets:

Choose an experienced bra fitter. You want someone who has seen a bazillion boobs and is familiar with many manufacturers. Bras are like women’s breasts: they, too, come in a variety of shapes ad sizes. One style may not fit your girls as well as another. Consulting an expert in this area will save you time, money, and a bra load of frustration. The Boob Lady recommends visiting a boutique lingerie shop with a variety of designers or a large department store with lots of choices. Visit the Bras and Beyond page of my website for a list of manufacturers and retailers.

Give your girls the gift of time. You may have to try on a dozen or more bras to find one that’s just right. Remember: no two breasts are alike, even on the same woman. Since custom-made bras aren’t readily available or affordable, you’ll have to buy “off the rack” for your rack. Your twins are not the problem; it’s the challenge of engineering support for a multitude of distinctly endowed women.

Embrace your true size. Don’t be shocked if your fitter places you in unfamiliar bra size territory. Any number of factors – such as weight gain or loss, going on and off the pill, aging — can morph your mammary flesh. Ignore the ABC’s (or DEF’s). What’s more important is how it feels and looks under your clothes. If so, buy a minimum of three different colors to replenish your bra inventory. That way you’ll always have one to wear, one to “air” (to rest and recover its shape after two-days wear), and one to spare.

Complete Your New Look. You match up shoes to your outfit, so why not panties and bras? Even in the black, white and beige basics, there are plenty of pretty thongs, boy-shorts and other styles from which to choose. Complete your wardrobe by stocking up on three pairs of panties for every bra purchase. No matter what you’re wearing, you’ll always feel like a goddess underneath!